Edition 5 - Christmas 2011.



Farmer George's Hedgerow Report. Farmer George visits the North Pole of Cornwall to find Feyther Christmas.

Dan Rogerson MP's guide to jungle warfare. More Jungle warfare as Dan talks leech infestation prevention and organises a Christmas truce!

Andy Gorge MP's Parliamentary Scratch. Andy get's chucked off a local farm and slates his assistant Wendy.



Prepare to be horrified, more non news this time from guest publications across the UK!

Naked pointy bloke presents! Photos that Cornwall Councillors should never have placed on their public facebook profiles. This time Cllr Steve Double.

Awful outsourcing company, Shitta Bins, outline their proposals to take over Father Christmas' Christmas Eve deliveries. What mental proposal can the worlds worst service provider come up with this time!

Cornish Celebrity chef, Rick Oliver talks about gravy, or some such tripe.

Our annual awards, the Gazettees. Have you won a prize in this years pointless awards ceremony!

Revisit edition 1 of the Gazette.
Revisit edition 2 of the Gazette.
Revisit edition 3 of the Gazette.
Revisit edition 4 of the Gazette.

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Exclusive! More cuts at West Cornwall Hospital, as the Hospitals's pharmacy is shut!

Second homes hit ludicrous levels in Cornish communities. We report as figures reveal that half of Padstow is now claiming second home council tax discounts!

What will 2012 hold in store for Cornwall Council? The Gazette looks at what's next from our leaders at County Hall..

More Duchy of Cornwall Okey Cokey, this time on the subject of urban sprawl!

The people of West Cornwall send a clear message to Royal Cornwall Hospitals Trust. Get your filthy mits off our hospital.

The 12 days of Christmas according to Cornwall Council! Our editor, Andy Crawford gets drunk on 2 bottles of sherry and sings about Cornwall Council!

Petty complaint of the year. In our search for a goodwill Christmas story about Cornwall Council we come across the stupidest complaint to a council ever.

More good news with Arabella, as she talks mINGe and harbours!!

Win a date with Arabella Kingston!!!!!

Salivating Eric reviews - Eric reviews the Wetherspoons Christmas dinner and gets booted out of Jamie Oliver's 15.

Darkkai's games and stuff, Kai's Christmas Countdown!

Roger the Degu's reality TV roundup. Britain's only literate rodent, Roger the Degu, reviews the X-factor final.



Charlton Musgrave's Troll Booth Postings. Tiz the season to be trolling fa la la la la la la. More trolling from Charlton. Plus we unveil his life story for the first time!

The Rev Evan Gelical is back! This time talking about the evil of Christmas puddings. Cornish religious extremist, Evan Gelical, misses the point once again.

Brian the Banker issues his annual report. What has he been doing with our money this year!

Glorious leader of Kremlin Kernow, Comrade Alec Robertson, outlines this years progress towards the "Great Leap Sideways".

Oh no.. its more Helston Mayor wars! The gazette explains in clear language that Helston Councillors should be able to understand how the interest system works and asks once again, what the hell is going on ?

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Felicity Flangebucket, our unhelpful Cornish Agony Aunt, deals with your Christmas dilemmas and possibly gets fired.

The Gazette's juvenile reporter, Little Mikey, talks about silly Andrew, Pigeons and smelly people.

 

Quentin Butterknickers has gone mental and his equally horrible twin, Frank is doing his column this week. What right wing tripe will he spout this edition?

(Oh and stop sending the complaints -satire people, satire).

 

 
 
 
 
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